"Oh, Pen..."

Written by: Dutchmassive (October 2011) in Tampa, FL

Recorded: (June 2012) in Los Angeles, CA

Produced By: [Redacted]

Lyrics:

[Verse 1 – Dutchmassive]

"I usually never reach the pen / until the first time A Chilly Breeze begins / roll out the long sleeves, then I breathe it in / if it ain't cool, it ain't for me my friend...../ And usually this A taboo subject / but weather is the reason why I'm usually upset / they asking if I'm done? Duke, I haven't begun yet / humidity just beating me down like a drum set... / asking, "So when your next album drop?" & "How come them last two albums flopped?" "If I had all them beats, I would rap a lot, the secret to success is, keep new album's stocked. '' / Man... Even if I didn't have writers block / I'd never saturate just to make sure my album's copped / I gotta keep it simple & direct / and write something down that the listeners can get"

[Chorus]

So 1, 2, Let the dopeness begin.

I'm close with my pen, cus i'm focused again.

waves in the water, the ocean, I send,

Like notes in a bottle, I'm open again...

I'm floatin' again, I'm getting open again

I'm close with my pen cus I'm focused again.

waves in the water, the ocean, I send,

like notes in a bottle I'm open again.....

I'm getting open...

I'm getting open... (1,2)

Getting Open...

Getting Open....

I usually never reach the pen

until the first time A Chilly Breeze begins

roll out the long sleeves, then I breathe it in

if it ain't cool, it ain't for me my friend, me my friend...

said if it ain't cool, it ain't for me my friend, me my friend.

Yo....

Dutchyyy!

-----------------------------

Backstory:

This was the last song I wrote while living in Tampa Bay before Losing what would have been my 3rd official solo album as Dutchmassive titled "Romanticizing" on Xmas Day (Night) to A Fatal "Blue Screen Of Death ''.  Every year, like clockwork, the first chilly day of the year would always start on October 1st.  This Began Changing around 2009 ish,  with summer lasting longer and longer, with some years, it remaining hot and humid into the end of December.  Since I first began writing rhymes in the mid 90's, I would almost always take the summers off (with a few exceptions) but generally, my ritual was to wait for that first brisk day, free of crippling humidity. The reason for this was, I very rarely sat indoors when writing songs, almost everything I've ever written was done outside, pacing back and forth any place I could find free of other humans haha.  I think it was around October 29th/30th of 2011 after weeks of complaining,  I woke up just as the sun was setting and stepped outside and was instantly greeted by a brisk, cool breeze, completely absent of humidity.  I was waiting specifically for this initial change in weather to put on this specific beat that I refused to listen to again after the first time I heard it because I didn't want my brain to start getting inspired and ruin the ritual.   I was very big on saving beats I knew I wanted to rhyme on for the right times to pull out, that way that initial energy was cemented with the memory of that 1st feeling of peace and relief....    This might sound silly,  But Florida isn't just hot,  it's beyond humid to the point you can shower,  walk out of your door to your car and sit down, dripping wet in a matter of moments...Plus the Mosquitos were relentless and usually stopped bothering people during fall / winter weather, which is a plus for someone who likes to walk at night while writing =)

I Vividly, remember sitting in the backyard of the condo and the weight bench on the deck, looking up at the stars feeling grateful and inspired.   Effortlessly penning those feelings down and deciding to keep this song short and to the point.  I already had 95% of my album recorded that I had been working on since 2007/2008 but I really wanted to include this beat on the album, so I patiently waited.  At this time,  I had no idea what was to come in terms of losing the entire album, nor that I would also be spontaneously deciding to move across the country after learning I had a very high paying contract working at Cedars-Sinai Hospital coming up in Feb 2012.

I had no Intentions at the moment of writing this song to stop writing and recording songs,  In fact, as you can hear, it was the complete opposite.  While I will admit the frequency of me wanting to write songs the past few years leading up to this was few and far between as I pivoted super hard in 2009 to making more instrumentals than I was writing or recording songs.  I was supercharged,  excited and proud to release the album I had been working on the past few years documenting my experiences as a much more mature young adult in his late 20's,  where Junk Planet I was a teenager that understood the harsh ways of the world much too young, and my sophomore album, I decided to focus more on being responsible with my words and do more uplifting than flexing thru battle raps and clever word play.  Romanticizing was me coming to terms with knowing the world has a balance of light and dark and that's just how it is,  Observe the injustice, call out the B.S. and bully the bullies of the world, while being thankful and choosing to focus on the beauty in this world.   The Beats I had for this album were so far ahead of their time.  I could use them today and the album wouldn't feel dated to me.  

Sadly,  I already wrote and recorded songs to those beats, and losing the hard drive right before I was moving to a new city with my (at the time)  "long distance GF" was just a blow I could not recover from.   I was able to partially recover the hard drive before leaving Tampa and moving to Los Angeles,  but what I received was just a million folders, and each folder just had jumbled files,  completely re-named to things "kk39ahd0fh002421"  It took me over a month going through each folder blindly playing files to try and organize and see what was recovered and as luck would have it, I recovered nearly every single beat from that album.   But all of the Project files / Sessions, Recordings, Settings, Mixdowns were all lost.        Not only did I not have time to re-record the album, but as you will learn,  I am very very very much attached to the magic of 1st take energy.  There was no way I was going to re-record songs and experiences without the initial energy I felt when I first recorded them.  So I scrapped the album and said to myself,  I'd get new beats, live through new experiences in a Different city and go from there, and thankfully,  I did not record the song you are reading about yet,  So I planned on starting with this track when I got to Los Angeles.      

Well,  Life is funny and takes you down different paths haha,  After moving to Los Angeles,  within the first 2 weeks of getting my apartment (more back context and back stories scattered though-out my other Artist account [ https://beta.catalog.works/dutchyyy] My girlfriend I moved from Las Vegas cheated on me haha,  which sucked but worked out because it gave me time alone in the apartment to create,  So I Recorded this song finally....   I was close with Joe Kay & Kronika of Soulection Prior to moving to Los Angeles, so as soon as I touched down,  I was already connected with everyone dope in the city.  Joe Kay would call me "Dutchy" on the Radio,  So when I'd book shows,  they would always mess up the flyers and put Dutchy instead of Dutchmassive,  I took this as a sign to separate my Rapping Alias and my Production/DJ Alias. At the same time,  Kronika introduced me to Ahwlee, who would come over every weekend and stay over, and that's where Ahwlee introduced Ableton Live into my life.....        I'm gonna be honest,  pivoting from FL Studio to Ableton was like unlocking a new world that made it so easy to execute my ideas and well..........   I spent the next few years as the producer main you now know as Dutchyyy =)

Los Angeles is not like Tampa...      There is no place, you can walk outside that isn't crowded with humans,  and being I like to be outside, alone away from humans while writing...        Dutchmassive went on extended Hiatus.  All while collecting beats from my favorite producers with the intent of eventually, sitting and writing a new album.......

This is a long back story huh?  but I posted this song for a reason as it was pivotal, combined with the loss of the hard drive and album,  being in a city, where I was overstimulated by people and could never find a place outside to be alone in my thoughts...    Prospects of new Dutchmassive album rapping kind of evaporated as I leaned super heavy into expressing my feelings and thoughts without saying words and instead translating a billion micro chops into my new language.          

The next song I would write and record would not happen until fall of 2014, in upstate NY.  "TRACK 37" aka "How Nice I Am"       

Please stay tuned, as that song is coming next, and sets the stage for what became the most personal, important body of creative work (to me personally) that I ever created......  DailyRambles aka "The Reluctant Clap"

Thank you for taking the time to listen and read.  I hope you dive into what is about to follow.

Love & Light - Dutch